Good morning Sarah, I had a goodnight sleep. What about you? This morning my thoughts are on the peculiarities of Bipolar. Let see the symptoms shall we?
- I was extremely happy and excited
- I was very motivated
- I was very much in love
- I had illusions of grandeur
- I was over confident
- I became very optimistic
- I had distorted belief system
- I have very little need to sleep
- I am more creative in my writing
Once the mania subsided, the magic was gone:
- I feel spent
- I experience fatigue
- Suicidal thoughts creeps in
- I am not in the mood to talk to anybody
- My writing quality was effected
- No more inflated self-confidence
It is interesting to note that during mania everything is possible. Now everything is bleak. So if I set aside facts and fantasies, I say many of the things I experience are the products of a delirious mind. There are many things I cannot conclude though. There are occurrences that are based on patterns and sensibility of the models.
Therefore I will not simply discard my epiphanies as absurd. What I can say is, my experience is uniquely mine. I said this many times. It is not about true of false, it's a matter of usefulness Since I will not be able to gauge the level of truthfulness of the epiphanies, I then decide them based on the usefulness.
One such thing is Al Araf 7:7. As far as truth is concern, Al Araf 7:7 is nothing more than a set of figurines. But in term of usefulness, it is a very relevant piece of my survival kit.
Most of the belief systems works i[t] that way anyway. Anthony Robbins talked about the Seven Lies of Success. The fact that he used the word lie already indicated that the belief is not true. Therefore I should no[] be concerned with whether my belief is true or false but rather useful of not..
All empowering beliefs are useful and all limiting beliefs are not. For example, believing I am God of Sparta 4964 is useful because then I will behave responsibly within my realm of my consciousness. Of course if I look back in my life history, I will have references to support that belief particularly the endorsements from Sarah and Brenda X.
That doesn't mean I should go on telling others about what I think although I did blurt it out in Chedet.cc (this is the mania part). This is what I call the State of Knowing or satori. To be awakened is to be true to your beliefs. I on one hand believe all matters are gods and all matters are intelligent. Therefore it is a natural inclination to believe I am God myself.
The belief of Sparta 4964 comes from several sources. The primary reason is the Forever (4) Yin (9) and Yang (6) Forever (4). That is the ideal state of Sparta 4964, always a balance. It is further supported by the Troca shell and the Turbine Spiral. This is a very easy idea to grasp. It is the Fibonacci Numbers in a very large scale implementation.
The Turbine Spiral spins clockwise to Wolfsschanze and spins counterclockwise to Xanadu. Again this is very clear. When I exercise in Lembah Kiara that is clockwise and when I exercise in Bukit Kiara it is counterclockwise. Therefore this become the basis if my belief in Sparta 4964.
Other than that, there were the beliefs of the House of Two Swords (Niner 1), Hexagon (Niner 2), Honeycomb 7 (Niner 3) and the Hive (Niner 4). These beliefs had their foundations based in the fact that all the numbers add [] 9.
Of course I had the beliefs in KBOOM 2041, the coherent of my numbers, the occurrence of the 7:7, the wild flowers phenomena. the giant millipedes at the tennis court and finding 10 cents coins 10 times in 2017 (a ten).
All these are empowering beliefs because I regarded them as such. So the sum total of all these occurrences is the Feeling of Certainty that I am indeed special and because of that my Path is straight.
What is the end game? Well I thought all these while it is the salvation of the humankind. Turned out it is none other than personal salvation and a small pockets people. So it is a fair deal. I went through the trouble to defeat Iblis all by myself, therefore I am the one who are eligible for this journey.
As it is, my bus is already set for its journey. It comprises of those who loved me and whom that I love. That's constitute everybody and everything in the House of Sha. Pretty small indeed.
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All these are empowering beliefs because I regarded them as such. So the sum total of all these occurrences is the Feeling of Certainty that I am indeed special and because of that my Path is straight.
What is the end game? Well I thought all these while it is the salvation of the humankind. Turned out it is none other than personal salvation and a small pockets people. So it is a fair deal. I went through the trouble to defeat Iblis all by myself, therefore I am the one who are eligible for this journey.
As it is, my bus is already set for its journey. It comprises of those who loved me and whom that I love. That's constitute everybody and everything in the House of Sha. Pretty small indeed.
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