31/1/19 Last 2 days of January I kantoi

The 30th and the 31st are the 2 biggest blunders of 2019.  On the 30th I smoked dope and on the 31st I smoked half a cigarette.

Need to get back on track.  I need to feel good again.

One thing for sure, when I am in mania, my judgement got effected.

But the truth is, as I had perceived before, all External Affairs are irrelevant.  I don't know why I even bother. 

If I want to I can disregard everybody.  I should do that.  Stay clear from the external game.  Remember, on the whole Chess Board I am just a rubber band with a steel hook in its circle.

This is pure nonsense.  It doesn't mean anything like the Al Araf 7:7 Chess Board.  I only see what I want to see. 

However, I'm gonna let this photo represent the whole cycle of human evolution until yesterday 30/1/19.  I will see it through the eyes of a child.

As they say somebody's junk is another person's treasure.  These are BJ's treasure rendered.  I like the symmetry of the Final Checkmate.

The only way to deal with it is to flow with the consciousness. 

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I think I over analyze it.  So I say, just archive the it for future reference.  At least I can see my thoughts at the peak of my dope high.  Like everybody else, I tend to talk nonsense when I am stoned.

So can we conclude this as nonsense?

"Not quite Sha," said Jibrail.  "There are some merit to the whole configuration.  Consider it as an inspiration while you are high."

That's the part I don't want.  When I am high I am irrational.

"Then the lesson is, let this be a reminder not to get high again."

Yes, I'll take that into account.  But the truth is, I somehow believe this is the Final Checkmate.

"Then no harm believing in it Sha.  Just don't over analyze.  Take it as a rendition of you thoughts when you are high.  As it is."

OK then...  The Final Checkmate should be focused on the central theme which is a  2x2x2 checkmate  in a 4x4x4x4x4x4x4 locks.  So it's pretty tight. 

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So if I am to take all this in, I say focus on the revelation and  move on.

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What matters now is I got derailed and now I have to get back on my quest to be thin again.  All these are External Affairs, which is probably only 5% of my total existence.

This is a minor distraction.

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