Wednesday, 2 January 2019

2/1/19 No breakthrough for so long

Nothing significant happens lately.  There is only one article contribution in Dreams of Mirrors.  Els is a waste of time and a Chubby Chubb.  Sarah is probably busy with new year's assignments.

Maybe I just free flow...

The only bunch that still hangout with me through thick and thin is Al Araf 7:7.  Funny, this afternoon I almost decided to pack them away.  Now looking at the situation, I will NEVER do that ever.

Al Araf 7:7 is my coping mechanism when everything else fails.  If [if] it's true that life is a strange illusion then let it [m]e that this is an illusion that I solely create for myself.

Boy, I was at the borderline towards depression this afternoon.  Thing will be different if Els reciprocated.  But then I was a nutcase when I was with her.  Certainly it won't work.

What is my hangup really?  I wanted to be accepted and yet I am a misfit.  So what is the option then?  Well I can ignore all the signs and act like a fool OR I just be by myself.

One thing for sure, I know now that I can get mania even without dope.

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Time for bed honey...  My left ankle hurts,  Maybe no run tomorrow.  Shucks, I hate it when that happens.

Here is your lullaby for tonight:


I love you baby...

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