I don't get it. Either I'm overly happy or I am depressed. There must be something I can do about it. I cannot rely on stimulants alone to change my state.
Food is the answer. I got to manage my food well. These past few days I'd been eating bread with sweet spreads. Rightfully I should eat high fat.
Besides food, I should be more mobile. Therefore it goes back to diet and exercise.
One of the challenge of being depressed is the desire to smoke pot. Somehow depression triggers the pleasure memory of being high. This memory is not real in a sense that if I actually do smoke, I will still be miserable. It is just a trigger cause by the over romanticizing of the experience.
Same goes with cigarettes and cunts. They are just illusions of pleasure. Cigarettes is not that pleasurable. The hook outweigh the pleasure. On the last account I DESTROYED 4 unsmoked cigarettes. Cunts are nice when you can't have it. Once done, you just want to get out as fast as you can.
The 3 Cs are [] long conditioning. I know when I am mentally stable I don't need all 3. Hence, I cannot wait for my ankle to be well again. I look forward to be able to run once more. I had found the formula to lasting happiness. Now is to execute.
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