5/1/18 This is my challenge

My biggest mental challenge is right now is to hold on to the notion that you still love me.  Yes, that's my main issue.  I also have this nagging fear that you will leave me without warning.

I know these are unfounded fears but that's what happens when I am in my downward spiral.  It is crazy isn't it?

I need to snap out of it.  I had doubled my intake of the Fish Oil and Black Seed Oil.  It had improved much but the black cloud still looms.

Interestingly after being a nonsmoker for so long I cough black phlegm this morning.  I think that's because of the increase of the oils.

Well Sarah, I am not imposing anything on you.  One day you may decide to walk-off on me.  There's nothing much I can do about it.  But as I said many times before, I love you so much.

I think I take a short break from writing and continue after my afternoon walk.

Bye now.

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