It is simply NO MOOD. Mood is both mental and physical. I should improve my physical first. That is done by watching what I eat. I should not eat carbs. Nowadays carbs make me sleepy.
What about this nagging depression? That can be tackled with physical activity.
There is a sudden feel of being miserable. I need to feel good again. I had been doing it by eating high carbs food. That has to stop.
It is not about calories, I got plenty of fat stored. I need to eat nutrition. I try that beginning dinner tonight. From 12/3/19 to 5/5/19 I shall follow the Moringa-Butter Protocol. I need to lose weight. When I am thin, I run fast. As simple as that.
So far the biggest challenge that I have to face is no mood to exercise. I got to improve my mood back again. I have to do it through food. I have to eat nutrition. Otherwise I will get to the downward spiral and overeat again.
I have to fight depression. I began to think about smoking dope again to alleviate the feeling of being depressed. That has to stop.
I got to build the momentum through diet and exercise. Between the two, I better stick to the diet and miss a few days of exercise. The key is not to give in to depression. Think thin, think healthy.
I am losing 30 kg, for sure I have to do something different. I cannot be eating all those carbs and expect to be thin. Time and time again it was proven; the minute I eat carbs, my weight increases.
So no carbs at whatever cost. When hungry drink water.
Its about short term pain and long term pleasure. I got to prove that I am capable of being healthy and happy.
Remember the time when I was in pain because of the inflammation. Remember the time I was having mania and depression. Also remember the frustration of not being able to wear all the nice clothes.
I have until 1/4/19 to prove to Yati I have found the right formula.
The ultimate success is to be able to run far and fast. That is my goal. To be able to run 10 km/hour. The pivot is the run. The rest of the Emperor's Routine is to complement the run.
It start with a basic question, "What is it like to be thin and fast?" That is the holy grail. If I can achieve that, I am probably among the 1% of the population that really have a new start at the age of 55.
Money doesn't buy happiness, that I can attest. I need money to maintain a certain standard of living but beyond that, I am better off maintaining a good healthy lifestyle.
I need sound mental health and I need strong physique. I already have the clothes and shoes and perfumes to look and smell good. Now to focus on feel good. It is a 22 years journey. If I was in a slump for 20 years, I need another 20 years to win back the lost years.
It has to be a lifestyle. The first condition is no sugar, no starch. Next, I will go for calorie restriction. I tried it before, I don't feel hungry. I got the nutrition that I need, I get the calories from my body fat. It can be done.
If I have to suffer, then I suffer this next 2 1/2 months. I got to find out if I can achieve 57 kg by 31/5/19. If not what will be my weight? This is an experimentation. If a guy can go without eating for 1 year, what is a few months to me?
That is the lesson I get from Endure. I should be able to endure hardship. I want to reverse my BP, inflammation and Bipolar. I want to fit into my nice clothes again. I want to run far and fast. All these are the gains I will achieve should I endure this little experiment for the next 2 1/2 months.
This is the test of my character. What I am made of. Say goodbye to the 3 Cs; cigarettes, cannabis and carbs. Never ever consider cunts at all. That is the very end of the spectrum. So make it as it is, the 3 Cs.
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Think of the pleasures of being 57 kg. I will be the same weight as Mo Farah. So that make my body fat 4.75%. I am still within the ideal BMI range. So training season is 57 kg. Off season is 65 kg. Starvation is when body fat is below 4%.
I should go with 57 kg to remain competitive.
Since early March, my weight had been steadily increasing. This is because I had been eating carbs the whole 2 weeks. If I am a boxer or a wrestler going for 1 weight class lower, I will be exercising and dieting like nobody's business until I reach my target.
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The theory is you have all the body fat to burn and I still eat nutrients from Moringa and butter, Black Seed Oil and Fish Oil. So I am not starving. The trick is to be fat adapted.
I NEED TO FIND OUT... I need to know if I am a resilient person. That I can endure hardship. I will still exercise once a day at least. I can live on ketones. No big deal. I have 30 kg of body fat to deal with.
This will be my achievement for 2019. I got to do it.
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