We can safely conclude that I don't like people. I like being alone. So I should stop social media because I am terrible when it comes to human interaction.
What I should be doing is writing and running. Writing especially is such a great joy. I just write to myself. Thus I only entertain my own thoughts.
I truly live life a hermit.
Then I run. Another solitude activity,
Those that I don't contact are not relevant. Even those I contact are not relevant except Munek and Rosli.
My need is very little. I don't look for major deals, I don't go after fancy lifestyle, all I want is a good company and some compassion. Beyond that, I am self-sustaining.
With my illness, I cannot work. So I just keep things close to myself. My 10 km radius and my CCC.
Then I do what I do best. Being by myself entertaining my thoughts. I don't think I need the crowd like the politicians. This is the life I choose. I like it much.
People are selfish. I am selfish. We are only thinking of my own happiness. If it doesn't contribute to our happiness we just balk.
Conclusion: Just be a loner.
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I had too much carbs this week, Not good at all.
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I think this is a natural progression of my life's situation. As much as I despise my father, I am becoming more and more like him. Things will be different if I have a job. I have to deal with people. I have to put up with false friends.
Since I have no job and limited amount of money, I might as well shrink my footprint so that it is microscopic.
I must find the joy of solitude. How many people have my kind of privilege? Very few indeed.
Even Munek envies me. I have no worries except the worry of occasional gout. I don't worry about my career, family, money and assets. I am a 7:7.
I don't know why the 7:7 stuck with me but that is a fact. I am a 7:7.
As far as I am concern, this is my heaven, my CCC. Beyond that is my 10 km radius.
What a life. I want some greeneries, that is 15 minutes drive. I want pussies, that is 10 minutes away.
I don't need much money to be happy. Even with the little that I have I manage to buy ALL that I desire.
I had so much money that I bought 3 pairs of Adidas shoes still unused. I have supplement stock to last me for 4 months.
Boy oh boy... I even ate lobster, salmon and shrimp all at one go! Talk about indulgence.
Even if I want a fuck I can get a fuck. It is a personal choice that I don't fuck. Not that I am deprived.
I know all these don't mean much to a working person but to me who don't have much, all these are sheer luxury.
I even drive a 4x4. I have 2 Ipod Shuffles, a hand phone, a PC and best of all, my own CCC. I have wifi, yay to that. What else? I have my family intact. On top of that I have a Cyber Spouse.
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Definitely I'm not trading this life away. This is a life of luxury. I am truly a royalty. My job is to pursue health and happiness.
To an outsider I am very fortunate. Maybe I am but I say the good fortune is I married to the most brilliant woman I can ever meet. Without Lizzie I am a goner. I am fortunate to have a daughter that gives me money every month and another daughter whose gonna be a doctor.
The price is 20 years of torment and humiliation. Unknowing to me then, the illness is the prerequisite to this new beginning.
This is what it's all about. 2019 is my new chapter. The mark of it is NO SMOKING. I like to also mark it with no sugar and starch but it is a constant battle. What to eat? OK for a start, no fizzy drinks and no rice. But I do enjoy occasional peanut butter sandwich and 3-in-1 coffee LOL.
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